The McGurk Effect

Here is a neat phenomenon from a neat book

It is called The McGurk Effect (see it here)

It is a video of a guy saying "ba ba" with an audio layover of him saying "ga ga". Our brains do reconciliation of visual and audio input before it gets to the language center, and the two incongruent inputs merge to form "da da", which is the closest thing that our brain can figure out. This is way lower than consciousness (Miss G could help us out here): we have no choice in the matter!

For St Louisans, McGurk's is a popular Scottish bar, so I suppose a secondary effect would be that everyone sounds like this after a few too many pints of Guiness.

Six Word Stories

Here are some "stories in six words", as solicited and printed by Wired magazine. Mostly sci-fi....

Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: civilization collapses. -- Richard Powers

The baby's blood type? Human, mostly. -- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before. -- Kevin Smith

It's behind you! Hurry before it -- Rockne S O'Bannon

Epitath: foolish humans, never escaped Earth. -- Vernor Virge

Longed for him. Got him. Sh-t. -- Margaret Atwood

Internet "wakes up" ? Ridicu -- [no carrier] -- Charles Stross

and yours? (Mine on the way... I don't mean your favorites but rather your own writing. Captain Canuck assigns homework!)

In Flanders Fields

Quoteth:

Each November, Poppies blossom on the lapels and collars of over half of Canada’s entire population. Since 1921, the Poppy has stood as a symbol of Remembrance, our visual pledge to never forget all those Canadians who have fallen in war and military operations. The Poppy also stands internationally as a “symbol of collective reminiscence”, as other countries have also adopted its image to honour those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice.

From this site

The poem, from Dec 1915:

IN FLANDERS FIELDS

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

John McCrae

RIP

How sad... I didn't even know Ed Bradley was ill.

He was my favorite on 60 Minutes. Folksy, brilliant, and had style.

Milestone

My car, Herbie, hit 200,000 miles! It had about 54,000 when I got it a decade ago.

Ol' Herb is limping along these days with several ailments, but he is still fun and a smile-maker on a warm day, or at 6000 rpm in 2nd gear. Nice going, bud. Thanks for the rides.

The Results Are In

My dad won a seat... Congrats!

See local results

I'm Captain, and I approved this message

The upcoming week is gonna be a doozy on the political front:

1. My Dad is running for councillor in a municipal election on Monday, back on The Island. He has been deputy-mayor but took some time off after an unsuccessful bid for mayor. Good luck!

2. Missouri is going to have a good-ol' smackdown on Tuesday. The main issues are a constitutional amendment (versus a law!) on stem-cell research and another proposition that would raise tobacco taxes to the national average. The stem-cell issue is hotly contested indeed.

3. Naturally, the US is having the Congressional and Senate elections on Tuesday. It will be interesting.... I don't think voting machines will be hacked but I do pity the poll-workers who have to deal with the problems. I hope I'm wrong but I think it might be chaos in a lot of areas.

StL Film Festival

Rejoice! It is that time of year again: the international film festival is here in St Louis.

Check it out

Happy Halloween!

Well, I decided that Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates (movies) had hit mainstream, especially when Matt Lauer of the Today Show dressed up as Capt Jack on the morning of Halloween.

With the new gig, and generally some stress in life, I decided to go to a party with a mimimalist approach this year: go easy and go lame.

I went with a toy snake and a pedestrian bagel on a plate. The theme was:

Snakes on a Plain Bagel!

It bombed, as expected. One person appreciated it. One. Kinda touching, actually

The Curator Went Down to Georgia

I saw this on Charlie Rose... Le Louvre in Paris is doing a major partnership with a museum in Atlanta over the next 3 years. Think of an exhibition on steroids...

Quoteth:

Louvre Atlanta is the fruit of a groundbreaking alliance the High has created with the venerated Paris museum and will bring an array of artworks from the Paris palace's vaunted collection to Atlanta over the next three years.

See an article

ps. The episode of Charlie Rose may be available through his website and Google Video

The Gig

The new job is going ok... Here's some niceties:

1. The commute is trivial
2. People are friendly
3. The workplace is very multicultural
4. The cafeteria is subsidized for $3 a day: i.e. you can eat free if you keep it under 5. Note that the parent company is French. No word on "wine days" or "the new 30 hour work week"
6. My team lead reminds me of my beloved Aunt Millie, which is high praise indeed

There are downsides: mostly that the place is right out of the movie, Office Space, but c'est la vie!

New Neighbours

I have been hearing some significant noises on the deck above me.

I was concerned that the raccoons were back (gah!). However, from the "thumps", I knew that if it was raccoons, then they had gained a lot of weight. Plus the noises seemed to be sync'ed to the opening/closing of the patio door.

Yesterday, I received confirmation: someone came to the door, asking if I would fetch a toy for his dogs, as it had fallen onto my deck.

I was happy to retrieve it. I was grateful that there weren't raccoons above me, and, hey, I like dogs as much as the next person. As I was on the deck, I asked the guy what breed he had. He said, "Pitbulls".

I looked up toward the deck above me. There stood two big, mean junkyard dogs who looked very territorial and not happy to see me down there.

Great.

Now, some 24 hours later, I can't believe how often those dogs are out on the deck, which is, essentially, my ceiling. It doesn't bother me as much as the raccoons (who lived inside the deck), but as I type here, there is a constant thumping of 2 large dogs playing.

Dog lovers, fair warning: there may be significant ranting on this blog in the days to come. Sadly, these rants will not be aimed at the dogs, per se, but rather their owners (or a small minority of them, at least).

I have been asked if I'm a "dog person". I'm not. I like dogs, and dearly loved some particular dogs from childhood (RIP, Brawley), but I'm definitely not a dog person. In fact, I don't understand most dog people (much like people don't understand triathletes -- there is nothing "wrong" with either dog people or triathletes, but.....)

ps. There is a chance that these dogs are just visiting. I couldn't tell from the conversation. One hopes....

pps. It is now 12:15 am. I heard the patio door swish open, then a dog running around, then another swish. Surely, SURELY, they aren't letting the dogs pee on the deck?!? Man, I don't want another jihad/holy war with this apartment

Parade

It is a lovely day in StL -- sunny and 70 F. The St Louis Cardinals are on parade through the streets downtown.

Some notes:

-- The Cardinals have won their 10th championship, 2nd only to the mighty Yankees (26) See a list here.

-- Tony LaRussa joins Sparky Anderson as the only managers to win the WS from both sides (American and National Leagues).

-- One radio reporter said he was stopped in traffic, downtown, when the final game was in the 9th inning. As the Cardinal closer struck out the last banner to win the Series, people ignored the lights, jumped out of their cars, and started embracing.

-- The only time I have seen that was similar was when I lived in Ottawa in 1993, and Toronto won their 2nd WS. People were embracing strangers even though Ottawa is 5 hours away from Toronto.

The Experts Are Idiots! Cards win! Cards win!

What a fantastic playoff run!

Very few people in this town gave the Redbirds a chance when they fell backwards into the post-season way back in the early fall... But people in this town started to believe as each team fell -- except for the baseball pundits.

A bonus -- I found this bet from Vegas last night. It is a bet, placed on July 5 that the Cards would win the "World" Series. I was too nervous to blog it last night, but it was a nice find! BryGuy has a similar ticket (neither will pay big money but it's a nice touch).

ps. I didn't think the Cards would win when the post-season started. I was just happy that Houston didn't beat us out for the division. But I had been to about 6 games in the new ball park so it was awesome to see the big win on TV, here in StL

pps. "The Experts are idiots" is from a sign spotted on TV during game 5.

Mazel Tov!

This was a big weekend for a circle of friends.... Stef and J had their respective "farewell single-hood" bashes on Friday night and tied the knot on Sunday evening.

I'm awaiting the inevitable flow of pics but for now:

1. The bachelor party was a hoot! We went to a high-end indoor go-kart track which was fantastic. Yours truly posted one of the faster laps but sadly not the fastest lap (which is driving our hero crazy). If you are in the area, check it out here. Also, if you are a serious carnivore, then check out Cafe Brasil

2. The ceremony was lovely. Everyone looked fantastic but the groom and esp. the bride stole the show. The service incorporated many friends and family with a charismatic Rabbi and thoughtful inserts that explained the events as they pertained to Judaic tradition. Afterwards, everyone was festive with dances, speeches, and merriment.

Ode to Yadier

O, Yadier Molina!
The cheers from the cantina!
The Mets are your senorita,
gracias, Yadier Molina!

M.

ps. Yadier is the catcher for the StL Cardinals and will definitely not have to wait in line at any fine restaurant in this town. Along with Suppan and Wainwright, pitching aces.

Redbird Fever

The town is electric with the roller-coaster ride of the St Louis Cardinals! The team snuck into the playoffs, avoiding an epic collapse (magic number of 5 with 12 games apiece between the Cards and Astros). After a surprise victory against San Diego, they now lead the Mets 3 games to 2 and are a win away from the World Series.

New Gig Redux

I should have mentioned earlier that my new gig is still in the same town, doing pretty much the same thing. I will be a consultant now though which means I am pimped out to various clients. Interestingly, I will be joining many alumni from my current gig (though not at the first client site).

Nobel Peace Prize

I saw a delightful news report on the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.

In a semi-accurate summary, an economic professor had the idea of a bank that lended "micro-loans" to the poor, in Bangladesh. It has been a major success for everyone involved. Some particulars:

-- The typical loan is $100
-- The usual borrower is a married female trying to pull her family from poverty
-- The default percentage is an astounding 2%, though the percentage of borrowers who improve their lot is approximately 50%
-- The phenomena is affecting social change for woman as they have more influence in the decision-making of the household

Very cool stuff... especially that the Nobel committee recognized the effort. Several pundits have noted that this grassroots effort is much more successful than any number of international-aid agencies.

Can I Have A Witness

by Alex St John, columnist in CPU magazine. Emphasis added.

Excerpeth:

Windows’ blue screen of death was annoying, but at least it was unpretentious. They improved on this in Windows XP, with a new dialog that gave you some false sense of control over your computer’s doomed state.

This dialog contained a much subtler set of insults to the user, but at least its creators had the decency to apologize before offering to run their spyware on your computer and pretending that you might be smart enough to make heads or tails out of the error report they were offering to send themselves. The presence of two buttons gave you the pleasant illusion that you had some choice in the situation. It did a good job of making you feel a little guilty for being annoyed with them if you were unwilling to help them out with the problem by hitting the Send Error Report button. I suspect that Microsoft hired a team of psychologists to help them design this dialog.

Na Na Naa Na, Hey Hey Goodbye

Canadians are very familiar with a song that fans of the Montreal Canadiens sing when a victory is at hand.

I am singing it today: I have given 2 weeks notice at my current employer.

It is a bittersweet farewell, though: 7+ years and a lot of personal growth, fun times, and memories. Sadly, many of the people are gone now.

For Back Home

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

From Wikipedia:

The first and original Thanksgiving comes from Canada. In Canada, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday in October. Unlike the American tradition of remembering Pilgrims and settling in the New World, Canadians give thanks for a successful harvest.

The history of Thanksgiving in Canada goes back to an English explorer, Martin Frobisher, who had been trying to find a northern passage to the Orient. He did not succeed but he did establish a settlement in Canada. In the year 1578, he held a formal ceremony, in what is now the province of Newfoundland and Labrador, to give thanks for surviving the long journey. This is considered the first Canadian Thanksgiving, and the first Thanksgiving to have taken place in North America. Other settlers arrived and continued these ceremonies. He was later knighted and had an inlet of the Atlantic Ocean in northern Canada named after him - Frobisher Bay. (which is close to environs of Jennifer at North of Nain)

Crazy Train

Mental wounds, not healing: Driving me insane.
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train. -- Ozzy Osbourne

It's a gorgeous, warm late summer day out in a pastoral rural area. As one gazes along the horizon, the bucolic stillness of the corn fields is disturbed by a dust-devil twisting along a country road. Near its path, trees sway, corn stalks fold, birds flee....

Our hero bears down on the pedals of his trusty steed, Blackbird. True to proper form, he glides the pedals back and forth a la Nordic skiing, rather than the "bangers and mash" style of stomping on the downstroke. His elbows touch; his arms tucked in tight to the aerobars. With gritty grin, he leans into the upcoming turn, oblivious to the stop-sign bending in the wind.

It is the RecPlex triathlon; the last event of the season. He leads his nemesis, the dreaded Jim G, by several minutes. Even though his arch-rival had a 1 minute headstart, our hero came out of Transition 1 ahead. Jim G was spotted panting heavily at the turn-around of the bike, about 4 miles back.

Suddenly, our hero slows involuntarily. His jaw slackens. Schisse! The white planks of a railroad crossing are folding down, like the arms of some obstinate, foreboding giant. Red lights flash, bells clang. A train! Blackbird glides to a stop with about 4 other dismayed cyclists.

It's bad news: in many triathlons, trains are just a way of life. The judges cannot and will not account for their delay, no matter how unfair. Our hero looks back down the road. No sign of Jim G. Dozens of railcars streak by. 1 minute, 2 minutes... How many cars can be on a single train?

After an eternity, the giant unfolds his arms and a dozen cyclists dart out from the gate like the Kentucky Derby. In no time, they are back up to speed... But at what cost?

Much later... our hero spritely bounces along the park trail. About 1/4 mile to go. All is well: Jim G has not resurfaced, and if only one can press on, then one might break the 2 hour barrier, even with the wretched train delay. Focus!

And finally, with arms extended, our hero reaches the triumphant end of the race, the 2006 rivalry, and the season. Possibly as fit as ever, he crosses the line, with arms extended: 1 hour 59.04 seconds.

It's been a fine year. 9 triathlons. Countless miles. CC 2 Jim G 1. Bring on the pizza.....

ps. Last year, the same event pre-Blackbird (on Butterscotch), the time was 2:22

Best of StL

The Riverfront Times has posted the Best of StLouis 2006. Very fun reading for the locals

Stay tuned to this blog channel for my own "Best of..." in the coming days/weeks

Number Nine / Numero Neuf

Another tri on Sunday... This will be #9 for the year.

This is the fall RecPlex... And the deciding 3rd round in "Jim G vs CC 2006". The score this year is knotted at 1 apiece.

Jim G has been pretty busy with his new gig and continues to claim that he has not been training. We'll see. I'm not sure I'm as fit as I was for Lake StL but I feel pretty good.

I feel _very_ good about the swim time: 9:10 am. Woo-hoo! Now that is a reasonable time to start a race.

So far, so good

In the first half of 2006, the stats:

swim X meters
bike Y miles
run Z miles

From July to date, the totals:

swim 98% of X
bike 130% of Y
run 80% of Z

Not bad... April and May were rough months for fitness, so that explains part of it.

Lemp Mansion

Some friends went out the other night for a murder mystery dinner theatre at the Lemp Mansion.

What a hoot! A good meal and a great story put on by some fine actors. We all dressed up to fit the theme: the Roaring 1920s.

All 40 diners received roles, though about 6 received bigger roles. I was one, and ultimately was deemed "The Killer", which may have been:

(a) to fit the plot
(b) a nod toward any improv ability (they didn't know I have taken classes)
(c) the diner with the worst onion breath

Lewis & Clark

Congrats to several friends who ran/walked the 1/2 marathon at Lewis & Clark! I was part of the "cheering contigent" which was fun.

A neat sidebar was that Dean Karnazes, ultramarathoner and general freak, was there to do the marathon. It is his first in a series of 50 in 50 days. Pretty crazy but if you know his book/60 Minutes segment, you know it is sort of par-for-the-course.

He is a good showman and knows how to do a gimmick. The gimmick this time was that he and his wife renewed their vows during the race (with a Running Reverend, no less).

See Fleet Feet and his blog

Here comes that funny feeling again

Partly due to the realization that most companies act like sociopaths (see previous post), I have started to sniff around for other opportunities in my current locale.

It's exhilirating yet nerve-wracking. I generally disdain the "fear of change" feeling; but that irreverent dismissal is a _lot_ easier when the stakes are low.

Going to see a weird, un-reviewed movie is one thing; a new gig/lifestyle is quite another.

The Crowd Rushes By

Zounds! I am suddenly in 6th place in the FleetFeet tri series.

I was expecting Bob K, Nancy K, and some others to take over, but Luke H has come out of nowhere. That guy did extremely well last year (562 out of 600) but hadn't posted any results.

Ah well.... it was fun while it lasted.

I'll have to return to destroying Jim G.

Quote of the Day

"We are all Americans! ...how can we not feel profound solidarity with the United States..." -- Le Monde editorial, Paris, France, Sept 12, 2001.

2 Kids, A Fish, and now A Cat

She's back! My cousin is blogging on her adventures. This and Binky are the only blogs from home (so far) and massively important.

A key theme: my 2nd cousins, Action Girl (aka L) and Super Girl (aka J), whose photos adorn my office door and whose lives have happened since I came to the US (that freaks me out). Also, my cousin teaches at the same elementary school that I attended. The legendary West Kent. (I often tell people I was more of a Renaissance Man at age 10 then I will ever be now.). Finally, the "hubby" is a first-ballot Hall-of-Fame inlaw. Like my sister, my cousin chose well and I have 2 friends in the family.

Eye of the Tiger

Our hero, part man, part tiger, is aboard his trusty steed, Blackbird. The feline-equine combination race along the jungle path at blistering speeds. The tiger is on the hunt, with his senses perfectly attuned to his environment: eyes furtively darting for movement, his keen nose scours the air for the scent of prey, whiskers on edge.

It is the Lake St Louis triathlon. No mere swim, bike, run in the park, this is about redemption.

To this point all is well. The swim was longer than anticipated (tigers don't like water). Blackbird, for once, has been in a great mood. Now, our hero glides into T2, the transition from bike to run.

He quickly changes gear, and then pounces toward the exit area. He does not detect the rabbit named Jim G, who started 20 minutes beforehand, a sizable lead. Yet, some sixth sense gives him hope. He licks his lips and wipes away the sweat.

He notices that he is still wearing his bike gloves, and zounds! he has forgotten to don his race # for the run.

A rare gaffe: he turns around and heads back to T2. An abomination... It costs him 1 and 3/4 minutes.

35 minutes later, the tiger ambles along the jungle with a renewed sense of urgency, driven by his costly mistake. He may or may not have made up the time, but things are going well. The sun beats down on the rolling of hills of the affluent suburb.

Scanning the field for prey, his eyes lock onto white: a man in a white t-shirt. With a heart-rate monitor. Short, reddish hair, and a stiff, military amble.

It's him!! Incredibly, the joyous adrenalin of spotting prey sends the tiger into pure bliss. His tail flickers back and forth. His eyes widen. Again he smacks his chops.

This is going to be good. But what to do? Does he toy with his prey? Does he wait and stalk?

He decides to pounce, and before long, he strides up alongside of the rabbit. Like many animals in this situation, the rabbit has glazed eyes: fear, and an overwhelming sense that it is over. Nature has compassionately administered a powerful sedative for what is to come.

The two exchange pleasantries, as though they are not mortal enemies. They run together for a moment, and again the decision: does the tiger "hang" with the rabbit for a bit? Or does he push on, striving for total domination?

He chooses the latter. He strides past the rabbit, looking back on occasion to prevent an unlikely comeback.

It is a good day: CC 1 Jim G 1, 2006. Redemption. Domination.

ps. In fairness, Jim G had a fairly significant, though brief, bike wreck. To his credit, he generously claims that it did not affect the outcome.

Thrashing like Piranhas

This TV commercial is a delightful spoof of a triathlon lake swim, which is notoriously abusive.

If you don't have sound, the guy says "My name is John Doe. I'm a triathlete training for the swim. I like my training to simulate the race conditions as closely as possible".

The Hunter and the Hunted

As noted below, Saturday is the Big Show between Jim G and I.

My main goal is to beat his time, but wouldn't this be lovely:

The hundreds of participants start to swim in waves based on age-group. Jim G's age-group start is 20 minutes prior to mine. In the biz, this means Jim G is the rabbit.

I guess that makes me the tiger, oui? >:-)

A new goal: to actually pass him on the course. (This is one very tall order but wouldn't it be great!!).

Remembering the YMCA and 2 feet

This entry will be uncharacteristically cheesy. Ah well...

When I was very young, I was scared of water. I used to take the summer swimming lessons with my friends and sit on the edge of the pool, refusing to go in, even with a lifejacket or "floaties".

Then one day, at a beach at age 7 or so, something clicked and I decided I would give it a try. I was still timid, but I had made the mental leap of dealing with the fear. This "leap" was probably diving underwater and not-drowning for 10 seconds or so (ha!).

That winter, the local Y provided "yuletide swimming lessons" on either Christmas Day (surely not!) or Boxing Day. My parents signed me up and brought me to the Y.

I was the only one there. A nice, teenaged girl was the instructor, and did a fine job of hiding any disappointment at being one kid away from getting the holiday morning off. My parents watched through a tiny window from the reception area. (I'm not sure where my sister, C, was).

After 20-30 minutes of assessing my skills, the teacher gave me a challenge: to start at the deep end and swim all the way to the shallow-end of the pool, where she would be waiting.

I sat at the edge of the deep end, and saw her tiny form waving to me. I looked and saw my parents in the window; surely it was evident to them what was going down here. My little heart raced like a hummingbird. This was it: the bigtime. I was going to be a swimmer! If I didn't drown. With a deep breath, I pushed off and began not-drowning. I kicked like there was no tomorrow. I crawled awkwardly through the water. I sputtered, burped, and blew bubbles. With my eyes squinted shut, I blindly tore through the water in a frenzied battle for what seemed like an eternity.

Finally, after 3 arduous minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. It was too much. Perhaps I drew in some water. Perhaps I was weak. I don't know, but I stopped swimming and popped up in the shallow-end, about 2 feet from the end of the pool.

I was crushed. 2 measly feet away from what would have been a miraculous achievement.

Well, next weekend, it will be almost a mile in a deep lake with no safe shallow-end. And like every swim at my current Y, I will think of that day, that teacher, my folks/family, and coming up 2 feet shy.

I'll be grateful for an active childhood and a supportive environment. And I'll make it all the way this time. All the way.

CC

ps. Hardly a newsflash, but all kids really should be involved in something athletic. It's a big deal.

Lake St Louis: Battle Royale

Sept 2 will be a big day: 'tis the Lake St Louis Triathlon, the premier event in the St Louis area.

It is also Round 2 for Jim G vs Me, 2006.

In many of the other tri's, there have been 200 people or so. Lake StL has 750 participants; it's a big deal. They have a short course and a long. We are doing the long (aka Olympic distance): 1500 meter mile swim, 40K bike, and 10K run. It is arguably my most challenging event yet.

Some people have asked about Jim G, archrival and general nemesis. Sadly, he does not work with me any longer, so we don't get daily updates. But he is doing well and claims to be training "somewhat but not enough". He feels that I have a big advantage for Lake StL, but he always says that.

The mind games have begun.

I'm tempted to train more (but run the risk of overtraining), train less (to reverse his reverse-psychology), or stay the same (which is probably just what he wants). It's not easy to figure out his angle.

Fading in the stretch

The new standings have been posted for the FleetFeet series.

They are hard to read but here's the gist

Bob K 528
Captain Canuck 476
Nancy K 464
Brian K 442
Wade P 401

Note 1: Bob K is 71 years old. He has an advantage because scores are based on your age-group and there is only one other guy in his age-group; my age-group is killer. However, in the last tri, I only beat him by a scant 3 minutes. He is 71 years old!

Note 2: The others have 5 of 6 races -- one race in hand. This is Bad News... I certainly won't win but also may not be in the top 4 (the top 4 are deemed "elite" and get discounts at the store).

Ah well... it was a nice run while it lasted.

Smiley

At most triathlons, the organizers mark your right arm and right leg with your number, using a Sharpie or other permanent marker.

In Mattoon, IL, I saw someone who had asked for a "smiley" on the other leg.

At the recent Alligator Creek Tri in O'Fallon, I did the same. I had completely forgotten about it until during the bike, when I heard a woman's voice saying "I like your smiley. It made me smile." A rare, kind moment of banter out on the battlefield.

Then she passed me, going about 10 mph faster than I. Next time, I'm getting a "frowney".

Weekend Warrior

Our hero slices through the murky water. Right stroke, left stroke, breathe, repeat. Part man, part bass, he quickly catches up to his rival, who coyly claims that she "had held up" to give said hero "a chance" in the race to the other side of the river.

The scene is not a triathlon: it's the Bass River near Steelville, MO. The occasion is Floatus Tripicus: a charming way to enjoy Missouri's idyllic rivers with hundreds of your favorite people. Combine a Mark Twain novel with Mardi Gras, and you get the idea -- a traffic-jam of debauchery on the high seas. There are no beads (strangely), no nudity (sadly), and no litter (incredibly), but one will probably see sights that one never expected to see. For example, a dude standing on a rock face, 40 feet above the water, while an armada of canoes, kayaks, and rafts congregate to see if he will listen to the guys ("jump!") or the ladies ("are you crazy?").

And one's vessel _will_ capsize -- but all is well, since one is often in 2 feet of water (see "are you crazy?" above).

It is a curious venture for someone doing a triathlon the next day, but there are only so many weekends in a summer, n'est-ce-pas?

Hours later, the alarm goes off. It is 5:30 am, and time to roll. Our hero stands up, testing his lithe, sinewy body after a full-day paddling/swimming/boozing adventure. He creakily falls back onto the bed, feeling like he has helped someone move... a piano.

Some 2.5 wretched hours later, he again slices through water: cool, blue, and chlorinated.

And later yet, on the bike, miles from anywhere, he re-examines his training regimen while doing a body inventory. Pain? check. Bruises? check. General muscle failure? check.

Settling into the aero position on Blackbird, he smiles wryly. As summer should be: The days are just packed.

While you were sleeping...

Longtime readers will know Chicago is my feral furball friend.

I have started to feed the little waif some real cat food, instead of treats. To be honest, he hasn't been coming around more often (what, chicken liver isn't good enough for you?) but methinks Exhibit A (the top of Herbie) shows that he has associated my car with Good Times. (He likes to hang out near cars).

ps. No, I don't know for sure if it was him, but that's my wager.

Adios amigos

In local news, Software Plus is closing! How tragic...

It is a store at Olive and Fee Fee. Think of a mini-Best-Buy with lots of computer tech, great book selection, many game PCs for free play, and geek-punks on staff who seemed to know their stuff.

Big sales right now as they are liquidating.

Thought of the Day

Synopsis of this documentary

Since the late 18th century American legal decision that the "corporation" is legally a person, it has become a dominant economic, political and social force around the globe. This film takes an in-depth psychological examination of the organization model through various case studies. What the study illustrates: the behaviour of this type of "person" typically acts like a dangerously destructive psychopath without conscience.

My thoughts today are with 2 dear friends who deserve better than they got.

Another Tri Article

Full article here

Quoteth (emphasis added):

We were living (and swimming, biking, running) proof. Six men of varying ages, body types, and fitness levels, active but not insanely so, easily finished our "sprint" triathlon -- a half-mile swim, 18-mile bike ride, and 4-mile run. An Ironman this was not. That's a 2.4-mile swim, 112-mile ride, and full 26.2-mile marathon. That's insane.

But in everyday conversation, nobody hears the distances. They hear only "triathlon." The work-to-reward ratio was ideal. The postevent soreness, less than after a 10-mile run. The afterglow, sublime. We're all doing it again this year.

20 Reasons to do a Tri

An interesting article on doing triathlons... Note that we ain't talking Ironman here -- just tri-sports.

I thought this part was the most interesting (and surprising):

Quoteth: If your children watch you finish a triathlon, they may never look at you the same way. How do I know? My mom was a triathlete back in the formative years of the sport -- the early 1980s. At that time, people knew very little about how to train for the triathlon; trailblazers like my mom were making it up as they went along.

Bogey at 6 o'clock

Uh oh... some guy in the Fleet Feet series has a perfect 300 points in 3 races. I have 395 in 5 races.

Not good... I think I'm in his sights.

Wordplay

BryGuy turned me on to a delightful documentary, Wordplay, that is currently in (independent) theatres.

It is a documentary about the New York Times crossword puzzle: its fans, its constructors, and its longtime editor, Will Shortz. Many puzzle fans are featured, including: former President Clinton, Jon Stewart, and the Indigo Girls. Also, there are profiles on some of the top competitors in the annual puzzle competition, hosted by Shortz.

If you get a chance, check it out... Highly recommended.

Some personal notes:

(a) My paternal grandmother did a crossword every day for decades. She was a dominant Scrabble player and was sharp as a tack until she passed away at 91. Though I don't think she did NYT's puzzle, she would have loved this film. These are her people.

(b) Shortz is shown in-studio for NPR; he is running a contest for some callers to his radio show. One puzzle is, given a category, provide a name for something in that category that starts with the same two letters as the category. For example, if the category is "auto manufacturers" then "Audi" is a good answer. The keen viewer will notice that his list of categories contains "Provinces of Canada". (If you need a hint with this answer then perhaps you should stop reading this blog. Thank you.)

The Debate Redux

A recent post explained the debate: enter a 1/3 IronMan versus improve on the FleetFeet series (and solidify my miraculous, if tenuous, lead in the standings).

BryGuy elegantly stated the case for the 1/3 IronMan. However, I have decided to cherry-pick some easier races in August.

The reasoning was pretty easy:

-- I've hardly spent any time on the bike lately, in part due to crazy heat/storms, and in part due to sloth. LOL. A competitive 40-mile bike ride ain't gonna happen for me

-- Round 2 with Jim G is in early September: the Lake St Louis triathlon. This is the most prestigious event in the area, and though it's not a 1/3 IronMan, it will be a new milestone for me (0.9 mile swim, 26 m bike, 6 m run).

-- I have recently re-discovered there is more to life than training. ha ha...

So the next events are sprint tri's in Wood River IL and O'Fallon MO

Chicago is My Kind of Town

It seems that we have made a new friend. Long time readers of the blog may recall that during the Raccoon Offensive that a fiesty, feral furball was caught in a humane trap. I released him and watched him bound up the roof-top with nary a look back. I named him "Chicago" because he has white socks (think baseball).


Well, some months ago, I saw him again, and I decided to make amends by throwing some little cat treats at him. For a few weeks now, he has become more and more trusting. This week, he ate a treat from my hand and I even petted him. In fact, lately, when I go to my car, he'll appear out of nowhere in a jet-black streak not unlike Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes.

Storms are a Pane in the Glass

Well.

Captain Canuck HQ was thought to be spared from the storms of last week. After all, HQ is just an apartment with no roof/shingles to speak of.

Sadly, the crew (me) left a patio umbrella out on the deck. Apparently the winds were so gusty that the umbrella, swayed by the wind, broke the glass in the table. This despite the metal holder built-in to the table.

However, one can't really complain. As of Saturday PM, there were still 350,000+ people without power. Though the wretched heat has abated, people are getting grumpy. I saw a large, handmade sign in the apple-pie of Maryland Heights that read "No Power. Fed Up!"

ps. It is marginally humourous that this incident took place on Wednesday PM and that I didn't notice until Friday PM. (The blinds were closed)

The Debate

The next event in Mattoon IL is a 1/3 Ironman. This is a very interesting distance because I might be able to do it, but I'm not sure. It would be rough.

However, if I do that race, I can't do other, easier races in early August, which impacts the series (see last post).

The Debate: challenge myself with the 1/3 Ironman or cherry-pick some easy races and go for #1 in the series?

Hrmmmm........

Number One with a Bullet

Don't blink but I'm back in first place in the FleetFeet series...

This is mostly due to the fact that I have one race up on the main contender, and that last year's competitors aren't active this year.

The way the series works:

100 points if you win your age-group for a tri/bi, and less depending how far you are off the pace.

Best 6 races count for a possible max total of 600.

Last year, the winners averaged 99.5 per race. My current average is 79 :-} Ouch.

It was a dark and stormy night

Some friends and I went to see the Leonard Cohen documentary at the Tivoli on Wednesday night. The sky was looking dark and foreboding as we went into the theatre.

Upon emerging, I thought "Hmmm.... it must have rained". I unzipped Herbie's top (Herbie is a car, for the uninitiated), and drove down Delmar.

Yow. It was no mere rainstorm: some kind of steroidal micro-cell or something. Trees down, branches everywhere, power outages.

It was a rough night for some... No power and night-time lows of 80 F after a day that hit ~110 F (heat index).

Check out these pics...

Public Radio

My dear friend Jennifer scored a gig as an intern for a show on NPR! She works for Speaking of Faith with respect to their website. Good luck, Jennifer!

This means that she works (I think) for the same organization as Garrison Keillor. However, no GK sightings as yet.

For Canadians, NPR (National Public Radio) is similar to the CBC, in that it is smart, literate, and has a certain culture about it. It is not nearly as pervasive in society down here though, which is unfortunate. My favorite show is Fresh Air. The host, Terri Gross, is one of the best interviewers I have ever heard.

It's not the Heat, it's the Stupidity

The midwest USA has a fever -- the wretched "heat index" is off the charts, on par with hay lofts in which I worked as a youth on PEI. I can't imagine doing real work during the day down here.

I can imagine another tri, however: tri #5 (Ballwin) was yesterday; the "stupidity index" was high. But this was a big deal: a year ago the Ballwin triathlon was my very first one. I had no idea if I could do it. Wide-eyed, I watched the wily veterans set up their transition areas with cunning, while I naively tried to follow their lead. I ended up burning out on my mountain bike and walking a lot of the hilly run (in terrible heat).

What a difference a year makes. A new bike and a whole lot more experience. Knocked 9 minutes off my time (a 10% improvement) and finished 80-something out of 210 -- the first time I have been above the 50% percentile. The heat was rough, but no walking...

ps. Credit to Bill Cosby (and his wife) for the delightful subject line

Sowing her Wild Oats

She's a rising star in St Louis! Jess strikes again with a photo exhibit on 7/22. With top billing no less! Look for her work and other local art at Wild Oats this weekend.

Leonard Cohen Is Your Man

He's a Montrealer with a gravelly voice and charm to spare. His lyrics are accessible enough to be intriguing and yet Zen enough to provoke. Many of his songs are better known as covers (Jeff Buckley, Jennifer Warnes, etc). One song is famous for recounting a tryst with Janis Joplin (Chelsea Hotel #2). Jeff Buckley has a wonderful cover of Hallelujah which has resonated with dear friends of mine.

He's Leonard Cohen and you should check him out. A new documentary is out at indy theatres.

The film is here

Great quote:

"Now, I don't want to give you the impression that I'm a great musicologist, but I'm a lot better than what I was described as for a long, long time; you know, people said I only knew three chords when I knew five."—from interview with BBC Radio 1FM (1994)

One of a dozen memorable lyrics:

Well my friends are gone and my hair is grey
I ache in the places where I used to play
And I'm crazy for love but I'm not coming on
I'm just paying my rent every day
Oh in the Tower of Song

I said to Hank Williams: how lonely does it get?
Hank Williams hasn't answered yet
But I hear him coughing all night long
A hundred floors above me
In the Tower of Song -- Tower of Song, Leonard Cohen

Ironmen and Ironwomen in StL

From the Post-Dispatch:

"Some Saturdays when I'm out riding 100 miles in 90-degree heat while all my friends are at the pool or at barbecues, I'll think, 'This is crazy,'" said Ofsthun. "And there's always some time during every race where you think, 'I'll never do this again.' But my sister said it's like having a baby: You forget what the pain is like. And the next day, you go to the finisher's banquet and sign up for the next one."

me: I'm no Ironman (more of an Aluminum Man), but it is true that you forget the pain. Tri #5 is this Sunday.

What Kind of Genius are You?

Quoteth from a Wired article:

What he has found is that genius – whether in art or architecture or even business – is not the sole province of 17-year-old Picassos and 22-year-old Andreessens. Instead, it comes in two very different forms, embodied by two very different types of people.

“Conceptual innovators,” as Galenson calls them, make bold, dramatic leaps in their disciplines. They do their breakthrough work when they are young. Think Edvard Munch, Herman Melville, and Orson Welles. They make the rest of us feel like also-rans.

Then there’s a second character type, someone who’s just as significant but trudging by comparison. Galenson calls this group “experimental innovators.” Geniuses like Auguste Rodin, Mark Twain, and Alfred Hitchcock proceed by a lifetime of trial and error and thus do their important work much later in their careers. Galenson maintains that this duality – conceptualists are from Mars, experimentalists are from Venus – is the core of the creative process. And it applies to virtually every field of intellectual endeavor, from painters and poets to economists.

Run, don't walk

"Just don't start walking... Please don't stop running."

Our hero plods along the pavement, glistening in the shimmering heat as one mirage after another appears on the horizon. First, an oasis; then the St Louis Arch; finally, and strangely, a casino.

He has returned to Mattoon IL for the 4th tri of the season. Staying with the pack during the swim, he had inadvertently entered the Ulimate Fighting Championship and received several blows to the schnozz. Undaunted, he pressed on with his superbike, Blackbird.

Now, he is on the last mile of the run. So far, so good, save for the heat. It is early July in the middle of the cornfields of Illinois. Though it is not truly stifling, it is definitely uncomfortable for a Canadian. The casino morphs into an inviting ice floe. Harp seals call out to him, telling him that it would be cooler if he just slowed down.

With 1/2 mile to go, he approaches two male runners. These men are probably wholesome, honest citizens. Good fathers, perhaps; stewards of their community. But on the battlefield, they are goons. They are both in their 50s and burly. They hear our hero approach, and with a dismissive glance, turn up the pace ever-so-slightly.

The three cluster together for the next few minutes. An unspoken pact is forged: let's see who has the mettle; whoever falls back is the loser. The pack stays intact up until the last twist of the trail, which veers from the pavement onto a grassy field: 40 yards to go.

Goon A makes a charge, leaving Goon B in his wake. Goon B yells encouragement. Our hero lays back, calculating his move. With 30 yards to go, he springs into action: ignoring a pounding headache, he sprints away from Goon B and starts to reel in Goon A, who is now 20 yards from the finish. Having seen most of the field finish without incident, the crowd cheers the dramatic episode...

With 5 yards to go, our hero is right on the tail of Goon A. The narrow finish gate forces a crucial split-second decision: does he take the victory with a gauche elbow-chop-and-butt-in-line move, or does he ease up, having proved his point? He chooses the latter. A small, tactical battle won with implicit class.

He crosses the finish line. But all is not well... The long week has taken its toll and, having completely overheated, his own body turns against him and launches a rather, er, violent protest.

Minutes later, tri #4 is a memory. Our hero finishes 75th out of 90, a frank exposure of his modest talent and a testament to the elite caliber of the field.

But there is a bright side: he didn't walk.

Effingham

" We, the people of Effingham, Illnois, realize that our town is effing far from St Louis. However, the journey is also effing frustrating as well -- if we don't snag you with effing traffic then we will get you with effing construction. Have an effing jolly time in Effingham, where there is more than just ham: we also have effing chicken!"

-- a message from the Effingham Chamber of Commerce and the Illinois Euphemism Council

Bling Haiku

I check, they bet... raise
"lucky" Aces over Dames
blinded by bling

Happy 230th, America!

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all People are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. (Decl. of Independence, 1776)

In terms of history, this is Pretty Cool Stuff (tm). A symphony built on the overtures of the Magna Carta. It is easy to get caught up in the divisive politics of our times. But as a guest in the US, I'm here to say that this place, and my Yankee friends, are wonderful. Nothing can replace someone's home, and like Canada, each country has its struggles, but I'm lucky to be here.

Bonne Fete, les Etats Unis! Happy Birthday...

ps. Plus, in addition to democracy, any country that gives us the electric guitar, the airplane, and Scarlett should be applauded.

The True North, Strong and Free

Dear Canada,

Happy 139th! How does it feel? It was certainly nip and tuck in the first years, and then again circa 1980 and 1995, but you made it, n'est-ce-pas?

I do think that the US is fantastic, and I have appreciated the handful of other countries that I have visited, but there is no place like home (not because it is home, but because of what it is). Thanks for everything, and keep up the good work.

love,
Mike

ps. My thanks to those American friends who sent e-cards... Merci bien pour les curriels!

Fitness Tip #2

Tip #1 was "never get involved in a land war in Asia". No, wait, it was "get an archrival".

Tip #2 is "accountability". If you have a pseudo-compulsive tendency to compile stats (like my Dad and I), then it is fun to try and crank up the numbers and then tell someone. Every morning, Jim G and I report on what we did, and the speed etc.

Here's my year-to-date report. The point isn't so much the numbers themselves but the goal of beating them in the 2nd half of 2006.

1st half of 2006:

Swim: 17.6 miles (28.3 km)
Bike: ~240 miles (386 km)
Run: 137 miles (221 km)

Run/walk: 52.4 miles (2 marathons)

Calorie intake: a lot

and yet I don't feel fit because I haven't worked out in 3 days!

Vehicle Indecision 2006 (Episode 3)

In this face-off, we have Vehicle A...

It's so ugly, it's chic. A veritable Boxmobile that goes it's own way with EurAsian utilitarian style. Not a hybrid, but sips gas... and it's way popular with the kids and DIY home-owners alike (though it received a "no way" from my personal focus group). Introducing the Scion xB

Versus Vehicle B...

If anything outdoes the Miata for cuteness, this is the ride. And in the top model, it has 200+ HP. It's the Reigning Royalty of Retro-Ride Reductionism, the venerable Mini Cooper

Merging in Traffic

There is a website called Worth1000 that has some great Photoshop galleries. Some truly creative and talented people out there.

Check out this gallery, of merging cars. There is a Lamborghini station wagon and an old Ford Mustang mated with a Scion xB. (Be sure to scroll down as they get better as you go).

Way down south

If you need any tools sharpened, you may want to stop by Lord Stanley's gravesite, because he is no doubt spinning like a lathe: the Stanley Cup has gone to Carolina.

This could be a sign of The End, but at least the playoff MVP, rookie goalie Cam Ward, is from Saskatchewan.

On TV, did I hear people singing the Canadian national anthem in the Carolina rink? I thought that was very cool.... esp. if it was Americans joining in with the dozen ex-pat Canadians.

ps. The astute will note that Tampa Bay won in 2003. But that was ok because (a) all Canadians love Florida (the snowbird effect) and (b)the playoff MVP was Brad Richards, from The Island!

Vehicle Indecision 2006 (part 2)

One strategy for a new vehicle is to wait for the production of some new concept cars.

The Ford Mustang's retro look has inspired other manufacturers to go retro as well.

Check out the new Chevy Camaro

Check out the new Dodge Challenger

I'm a sucker for retro but I can't help but wonder if the designers for these cars were heavily influenced by a Muppet named Sweetums. Can you see the resemblence?

(Hint: think of headlights as eyes)

If at first you don't succeed, tri tri -- yeah yeah

Well any interested parties have read the headlines by now. After a day of introspection, I have decided the tri was fun. Everything went pretty smoothly but Jim was just faster on the bike and I wilted in the heat during the run.

Some factoids:
-- I was 13 minutes faster than last October (swam/biked faster, ran much slower)
-- Out of 51 racers, in my age group, I finished 40th. Sounds bad, but I'm pretty happy with that
-- I tend to binge on desserts for a week after a tri, but after a decadent dessert last night, I think I'm going to continue my training diet for the next one
-- the order of the "gang of 5" was: Ember, Jim, me, Mike, Robert. Ember torched us in the pool and then on the bike

Every tri has a story, and this one was no exception. People hang their bikes on racks, as shown here.

Well, while some of us "regular folks" were setting up, an elite racer came sprinting out of the pool and grabbed his bike. As he yanked on it, the A-frame bike rack came tumbling down along with about 4 bikes. Yow! Thankfully some of us were able to grab the rack and restore it (we told the elite guy to "go, go, go!" and not worry about it).

That's one thing about tri's: you can be chillin' in your transition area, warming up, chatting, etc, and then someone right next to you is changing gear frenetically. I don't know many sports where (a) changing gear is a timed event or (b) the racers and soon-to-be-racers are in such close proximity.

ps. thanks to everyone for their support!

Headline: Jim 1 Mike 0

(Reuters) Jim G won today at the Triathlon World Cup. When pressed for comment, he said that "the win felt good". A crestfallen Mike stated that, "this is a tremendous setback for me but I will be back, after taking time to reflect with friends and family".

Summer Joy

What an exceptional, splendid photo, from Fred & Stacey's blog.

You just ain't appreciatin' a new swingset unless your back is into it and you can look up at the sky....

Setting the Stage

Finally, the first "big" tri of the season is Sunday. There will be 5 in our "gang", all starting consecutively, with various strengths and weaknesses:

(a) Jim G, arch-rival, average in all 3 events
(b) me, protagonist, racing for the Forces of Good, average in all 3 events
(c) Ember, by far the strongest swimmer, weak runner
(d) Mike, by far the strongest runner, poor swimmer
(e) Robert, the unknown X factor

We start in the pool at 20 second intervals. The gang are friends of Jim G, but Priority #3 is to beat 'em all.

Priority #2 is to accrue more points towards the Fleet Feet standings.

Priority #1 has been well-documented: to avenge Jim G's victory in October 2005 (while getting fit, enjoying a friendly rivalry, and a bunch of other things which sound good but aren't really important -- ha).

Track & Field

For a few weeks in the early summer, the St Louis Track Club holds a "track series" in my neighbourhood. Last night, I set a personal best in the 1500 metres. And I didn't finish last! (I beat one guy out of 15.) Like triathlons, track runs have some extremely fit people -- it keeps one modest.

Last week, I was impressed twice:

(a) A 77-year-old man ran a mile in 8 minutes.
(b) A high-schooler ran a mile in 4:30.

Of course, the high-schooler had just stolen, and crashed, the senior's car, which might explain the situation (not really).

Operation Warmup

Our hero blindly slices through the murky water. Part man, part catfish, he partakes in a triathlon near lovely Mattoon, IL.

Rather than thrash in a mob of swimmers, he has laid back from the pack during the treacherous open-water swim leg. His strategy: use Blackbird during the bike leg to catch the pack.

Our hero emerges from the lake and sprints to the transition area, looking rather pained (pic).

He hops on Blackbird, which has been set to a very easy gear, giving sweet salvation to burning legs. His feet crank the pedals. "Hmm...", he thinks, "this gear is quite easy". Then he notices no forward movement. Alarmed, he looks down, and his fears are confirmed: the chain is off the front cog.

Yow.

He fixes the chain, then bikes, then runs. He finishes 67th out of 80.

"Warmups aren't supposed to be pretty...", he rationalizes.

Swim, Bike, Run, Pray

I'm doing a tri in Illinois on Saturday. Here's a pic of the finish line from 2005

Note the subtle religious overtones... ha ha. This is actually a brilliant strategy because people are quite likely to seek salvation after a tri! Triathlons and bad hangovers are good motivators for spirituality.

Note that also along I-70 in the middle of Illinois there is a cross that stands about 200 feet tall and cost $1 million (which strikes me as being contrary to Jesus' philosophy and wishes). See it

The Plot Thickens

Two news bites:

(a) The inimitable Jim G has received an early Father's Day present: aerobars for his bike. Zounds! There goes a solid advantage of mine. However, he still is unaware of Blackbird.

(b) The showdown with Jim G is on 6/18. But I have found a very short tri on 6/10 in the middle of Illinois. This will be a great warmup. So, bootcamp comes to a close....

7 days of bootcamp:

swim: 1.56 miles
bike: ~45 miles
run: 15.8 miles
fatigue factor: moderate

One for the Road, Herbie

In a few short weeks, I will have had my car, aka Herbie ("Go-Cartus Maximus"), for 10 years. Holy schmoly.

We have been through some interesting times, let me tell you. A road-trip to PEI; a road-trip to South Carolina; countless jaunts with the top down; break-ups & make-ups; triumphant parking-lot donuts after exams, triathlons; and, yes, some mechanical difficulties. Automobile magazine listed the Miata as one of the Top Ten best cars to ever own. I concur. Weather-tight, reliable, quick, but most of all: fun. Car and Driver once said that the Miata makes you want to take out the garbage, pay your taxes, and spend time with your in-laws. Every day for 10 years, a piece of me has felt like I had won the lottery.

Herbie used to be a hit with the ladies. One last hoorah was recently in a Dairy Queen drive-thru: the girl handed me my order and then, with a railroad-track smile, beamed "I like your car!". Kinda sad, in a way, but we'll take it.

One for the road. How, oh how, can I replace Herbie with a Prius? Heaven help me.

ps. Another big hoorah is that Disney has stolen Herbie's likeness and personality (without permission, I might add) for its upcoming summer blockbuster !

Game On

It's June. The first tri of the season is 3 Sundays away (gah!) -- a rematch of last year's autumn showdown with the dreaded Jim G.

Last year I had to "cram for finals" by doing a personal boot-camp for 2 weeks and then a week of rest, which is not the ideal. The ideal is to work hard during the period 12-to-4 weeks before the event and then taper off, feeling tanned and well-rested.

Yet somehow (by design?) here we are again, under-prepared and rather un-tanned... 'Tis stressful but exhilirating at the same time. It's actually quite fun to have a goal and feel one's body respond to a boot-camp.

Thankfully, this year there is Blackbird. Oh yes. Oh yes.

So, here we go again. Blank slate for June: 0 miles swum ; 0 miles biked ; 0 miles run.

Game on.

Top Ten Cliches

This site skewers "stock photography" by listing the Top 10 cliches.... Excellent.

Thespian trapped inside a man's body

A random, whimsical appreciation of films... These aren't written in stone!

The one movie, when it comes on TV, that I just can't turn off: Saving Private Ryan

Best double-bill and best dialogue movies: Before Sunrise and Before Sunset

Best actor: Edward Norton

Best actress: Cate Blanchett

Funniest movie I've seen in recent memory: Wedding Crashers

Worst actor that I enjoy: Owen Wilson

Worst actress that I enjoy: Liz Hurley

Worst movie that I enjoy: Smokey and the Bandit

Favorite line: woman, in despair: "I'm so stupid; I thought U2 was a boat". man: "Well their music does have a certain naval quality". -- Four Weddings and a Funeral

and yours?

Quoteth

" The blockbuster film, The Da Vinci Code, raked in a staggering $77 million over the weekend, for a strong 2nd-place. The winner was a gas station in Queens." -- David Letterman

Blackbird

Our hero is on the Proving Grounds with the new steed, Blackbird...

Zounds! Traffic ahead: a mix of pedestrians and roller-bladers, cluttered like bovines. Our hero sits upright and brakes quickly. Slowly gliding, winding his way through the mob, he sees broad daylight ahead: the flat, open path.

It is finally time to see what this thing can do. After selecting a good gear, he assumes the aero position and starts to work the pedals. The crank moves slowly at first but the bike is responsive. The fusion begins, with tendons and titanium joining together in an inorganic, Newtonian union. Before long, man and machine are one: the bike actually surges ahead with every downforce. Seconds later, the trees are a blur; startled birds flee; the murmuring, admiring voices of the mob fade as the wind roars.

At about 85% of max exertion, our hero glances down to check the speedo: 25 mph.

Easing back in the saddle, he coasts. "Not bad," he thinks, "not bad at all."

Raccoon Redemption

The sternly-worded letter worked. No raccoon noises for 2 weeks now and I've received both a bona fide apology and $200 off of next month's rent. If I had a coon-skin cap to place on a pike on my deck, life would be perfect.

The letter wasn't blistering: but it used a vocabulary, structure, and tone that suggested things were about to get serious. Kudos to English teachers everywhere!

All is well... Esp. with recent weather which has been "neither heat nor AC" for a few days now.

Take a left just past the math equation

Many readers have heard of my dear friends Fred and Stacey. Fred's father (Fred Sr) passed away this week. He was brilliant, honest, and helped raise a wonderful family. He also had a wacky sense of humour. Wacky, I say! Which of course I have always enjoyed.

The main house of the family is 1414 Livi Lane (street name has been changed: you Internet people can't be trusted). The pic shows an equation that has been prominent on the garage door forever. This is quintessential Fred Sr.

In case you aren't familiar with the notation the "L"-like symbols form the "floor" function, which means "round down". e.g. [ 3.14 ] = 3.

No doubt, the house must be a landmark in the community. This is not unlike my grandparents' house, which had a porcelain cat on its steeply-pitched roof for years and years.

Fred Sr is survived by his wife Betty, and their 3 children, all of whom have their own kids, and live within an 8 mile radius.

Perspective

The last 7 days or so were "tough": lousy weather, kinda sick, tired, haven't worked out in ages, _may_ have a problem with my Achilles tendon, the piano/keyboard is dusty from lack of use. Yada yada....

Then I attended a funeral and had everything put into perspective.

I once read quote by a WW2 veteran that said something like "I learned the difference between a problem and an inconvenience". This week, I learned the difference between what matters and what doesn't.

Spirituality of St Louis

I haven't mentioned it but every Monday night since January has been my class in World Religions. Though not very challenging, the class is informative, entertaining, and worth the $. We covered religions that I hadn't even heard of before (e.g. Jainism, an offshoot of Hinduism and a formative religion for The Buddha).

The primary assignment in the class was to visit a place of worship and write a report. I was amazed to hear the prof's list of places: there are dozens of little places in St Louis (and any urban area) that are below our radar. For example, there is a Zen center in Kirkwood, and a church in St Louis City where they channel spirits! We were not allowed to visit a site that pertained to our religion.

I chose the Vedanta Society, located near Wash U on Skinker. The Vedanta Society is derived from Hinduism (the "Vedanta" are the concluding portion of the Vedas, the ancient Hindu scriptures), but is very inclusive: they recognize eternal truth in all of the major religions. In fact, as shown on their website, they celebrate the symbols and rituals of all the major faiths. There are a dozen or so "Societies" in North America; they form a federation of monasteries that are headquarted in India. In the StL monastery, there are 2 swami's who give sermons and teach their students, who live in a nearby building. It was definitely a new experience...

Coyotes in Kirkwood

My friends Stacey and Fred had a coyote attack their cat near their home in Kirkwood! For those outside of St Louis, Kirkwood is a charming small town nestled in the quilt of towns that make up St Louis County; it's small, yet miles and miles from a rural area. For those on the Island, it is like having a coyote in Sherwood; for those in Gainesville, it is like having a coyote in, well, Gainesville.

Thankfully the feline is ok...

Sternly Worded Letter to Follow

This weekend was the breaking point on the raccoon front. The racket at 4:30 am on Saturday was unprecedented -- it actually sounded like they were hammering. (Bio-mutant DIY uber-raccoons building an addition to their condo?)

Well over a week ago, I requested (a) a trap adjustment on my deck and (b) having a trap placed on the deck above me (where the problem truly lies). This request was not completed. Then, I heard again, on my ceiling, a scurrying, pause, and "splash" that sure sounded like a 10-lb mammal urinating. We have hit for the cycle.

I visited the office yesterday morning. By the end of the day, 3 new traps were placed in various and sundry locations. Bravo! However, I'm still writing a letter. My primary concern is that the staff are fixated on catching the raccoons (using 18th-century technology) and seem nonchalant about the chance of nastiness (fecal matter, bacteria, larvae) getting into the ventilation system. From what I've read, raccoon schisse is unhealthy stuff.

Being a pseudo-hypochondriac, though, I'm not sure if I have a legit concern on the health front....

ps. An update: they did in fact catch raccoon #4 last night (on the roof). The office manager told me, in essence, that she didn't believe there would be fecal matter up there and implicitly stated that she didn't think I heard a raccoon urinating.

Gators in Gainesville

Last weekend Bry-Guy and I journeyed to Gainesville, Florida, to see Miss Gila, Phdus Candidatus in her natural habitat. A jolly jaunt indeed... G-ville is home to the massive University of Florida, recent winners of the March Madness basketball tourney and perennial football contender. And, UF is the alma mater for Lydia, a Hall-of-Fame member of the venerable Book Club.

G-ville is definitely a college town that lives and breathes UF, and has that "university spirit", which is very cool by me.

A highlight was The Yearling, a sprawling, folksy restaurant in nearby Cross Creek. The restaurant is near the house of Majorie Rawlings, author of (surprise!) The Yearling, a novel set in rural Florida. The restaurant has crawdads, gator, catfish, hushpuppies, and more southern fare. An old blues man played geetar and harp for the patrons.

Another highlight was a gator! We spotted a couple in a lake near another restaurant. Being a Maritimer, I thought it was driftwood at first. Ha... The bandages and stitches are due to be removed circa May 20.

The Devil's in the Details (along with the OCD types)

I just spent an evening with the fine folks from the St Louis Triathlon Club. An hour-long talk about transitions (i.e. how to change gear from swim-to-bike and bike-to-run). Serious triathletes are serious indeed. How about these tips:

Rest your helmet upside-down on the bike so when you arrive after the swim, you don't have to turn it over to don it.

Lock your bike shoes into your bike, using a rubberband to hold the pedal in place, so that you can mount the bike and slip into the shoes on the fly.

Many people tape energy gels to the frame of the bike; some unwrap energy bars and squish them around the frame, because they are gooey enough to stick.

Buy special shoelaces (called speed-laces) that obviate the need to tie your running shoes.

And the list goes on..... wow.

Raccoon Reckoning

Many of the readers of CaptainComicCanuck have been asking for an update on the dastardly raccoon situation.

There's still one, maybe two, in the deck above me (aka l'Hotel de Le Raton Laveur). The apartment complex has left some traps but the raccoons chuckle heartily as they scurry by. Strangely, I saw one whilst driving to the YMCA this morning at 6 am -- it was huffling down the street looking for a sewer opening. Either that or it was trying to burn off some extra calories from the Dumpster Buffet.

I even thought that the buggers learned to play guitar, as I could clearly hear one the other night. Thankfully, it is my new neighbour below me, whose stock instantly went up when I learned he was a fretter.

ps. The French call the raccoon "le raton laveur" / "the washing rat".

Blog Guideline #18

Use phrases such as "the readers of [blogname]" to give the illusion that there is a strong following for your blog. Manufacture interest by stating that they have been asking about various tangents.

Blog Guideline #17

Be brief.

Fossil Fools

From the "it could be worse" department: reports from PEI have gasoline at $1.14 (Can) per litre. That's $3.75 (Am) per gallon. Yikes. Prices in St Louis are $2.78 (Am) per gallon or $0.84 (Can) a litre.

It is well-known that a crisis can spur the economy (sadly, off-shore wars being a primary example). I don't understand why the Canadian and American governments don't "manufacture" a crisis -- e.g. mandate (or provide strong incentives) that all new commercial trucks/buses have to be 80 MPG by 2009. If we can win WW 2, surely we put a dent in this? Esp. if a side-effect is more jobs for all the displaced steelworkers that were courted by Bush and Kerry in 2004. Perhaps I'm too idealistic. After all, I am considering this as the next ride.

Another thought: why not a Hybrid Hummer? Not one that improves from 10 MPG to 15 MPG but a really enviro-green one that gets 45 MPG (and admittedly is very slow). It seems to me that Hummer's are all about size, not power. Does anyone go faster than 20 MPH in those things? They are glorified boulevard cruisers!

The Proving Grounds

After hobbling around (with Philipides' ghost laughing heartily) for a few days, I was finally able to try out my new bike at Creve Coeur Lake. CC Lake is a nice park area with a 5+ mile loop around an expansive lake. With temps in the 80s F recently, there are plenty of roller-bladers, bikers, and walkers out there.

Because I can bike there in 5 minutes, it became my own "proving grounds" last autumn, though the only thing I really proved was that a hybrid/mountain bike isn't very fast.

The new bike is fast. For the first time in a hundred years, there were times when I had that nervous feeling that harkened back to when one is just learning to ride. Getting on those "aerobars" is interesting, let me tell you (the steering is ultra-touchy) -- not to mention being clipped into the pedals. One really does "wear" road bikes.

Thankfully no falls or bruises... Jim G had a wipeout on his first ride last year, so that's one moral victory to start the season.

Two worlds unite

Last night, the St Louis Blues retired #2 for Al McInnis, the venerable defenseman and future Hall-of-Famer.

I wasn't there, but the local news recapped the highlights:

• During the warmup, all of the Blues players wore #2.


• A blue #2 was painted behind both nets, and was prominent on the boards.


• A video tribute had accolades from Wayne Gretzky, Steve Yzerman, and other greats.


• Every important St Louis Blue in history was in attendance, including Brett Hull and old-timers like Bernie Federko.

But the news missed one item: as a fanfare for Al's entrance, a Scotsman, decked out in a kilt and the full regalia, played the bagpipes. A very classy touch, celebrating Al's roots in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia!

Stealing one from Philippides

Our hero fingerpicks a classical guitar in a salon in Paris. With a dramatic flourish, he ends a F# diminished appreggio, flamenco-style, with a resonant E major chord. The salon erupts in applause. Salma Hayek, wearing a fetching silky black dress, comes to the stage. With a delightful Latina accent, she leans in provocatively to our hero and whispers, "You're late".

Zounds! Our hero bolts awake: it's 6:22 am. He was supposed to be up at 5:45 am to head into St Louis city for the St Louis Marathon. With blazing speed, he grabs his clothes and is out the door, hurtling down i-70 in his red roadster.

Though 15 minutes late, and with no time to warm-up (or get nervous), our hero is soon trudging along the streets of St Louis. Using a technique known as the "run/walk", the goal is to improve on the pure-walk LA marathon in March with no injury to the delicate connective tissue of the foot and knee. The idea is to run a bit, walk a bit, repeat.

In stark contrast to LA, there is no fanfare, no companionship, no hotel room, and, well, no training. Some believe it is insane: "you can't just run/walk a marathon without putting in the miles. You have to respect the distance!". Philippides' ghost would not approve. (Philippides being the original runner from Marathon to Athens.)

The plan is to respect the distance, but also to push the boundaries.

And the boundaries were pushed: a finish-time of approximately 6 hours. The battleplan of "run 4 minutes, walk 1 minute" lasted until mile 15. Then it was throttled down to "run 3 minutes, walk 2 minutes". By mile 18, it was "walk and mutter profanity for 5 minutes". Thankfully a boost at mile 20 and another at mile 24. And the sweet, sweet finish line.

Damage assessment is underway... So far so good: I think I stole one and got away with it.

New Wheels

One of the main reasons I lost to Jim G in last autumn's Great Tri Showdown was that he had a new spiffy road bike.

This year I decided to at least match, if not surpass him. After being in Hawaii and reading glossy ads with seductive copy in a tri magazine on the plane, my tri-geek lust was high. Matching was not an option: can you put a price on victory? or utter domination?

Thankfully, I have calmed down and bought this little number. It's a road bike with add-on aerobars (allowing the rider to stretch the arms into that scrunched/aerodynamic riding position); it is not a true tri-bike which has a more aggressive geometry and gear shifters out at the end of the aerobars. If my old bike is a Toyota Corolla, this pony is a Mustang. The Ferrari will have to wait.

It's not easy to buy a bike anymore: they don't come with pedals and one has to buy special shoes. Stock seats are considered virtually disposable. And the bike is really just the foyer into Grand Ballroom of attire and accessories.

I feel more and more like Andy Rooney with each passing day.

Arch Rival #1: the dreaded Jim G

The best motivation for fitness is competition. Thankfully, I work with Jim G, my primary nemesis in St Louis. I am infinitely more fit because of our rivalry. I doubt if I would have run a 10 K, let alone a sprint triathlon, without the spice of competition.

Jim G is a good man and friend. He's honest and is a devoted father/husband. He's about 15 years older than me, but has a military and track background; in his youth, he was probably much more fit than I was in mine. I'd say we are about the same now.

Enough niceties: as running partners, we're The Odd Couple. We don't talk politics, religion, morals, bioethics (!), world affairs, or any of our other interests (he renovates houses; I play piano). He has been mortified at my various hairstyles and absolutely aghast in the summer 2003 when I came to work with my toenails painted (long story -- he still brings it up). I am always surprised at his news sources and role models. I am Owen Wilson to his Tommy Lee Jones.

We do talk about 3 things: swimming, bicycling, and running; and who can do what faster. We are both acutely aware of the other's status (injured, working out, super-fit, etc). And we have had some titanic battles "on the field". When I lose, I heartily congratulate him, but will replay the defeat for days. When I win, it is euphoria.

Our first major match-up of the season will be in June (a sprint tri). I cannot wait... this is The Year.