Crazy Train

Mental wounds, not healing: Driving me insane.
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train. -- Ozzy Osbourne

It's a gorgeous, warm late summer day out in a pastoral rural area. As one gazes along the horizon, the bucolic stillness of the corn fields is disturbed by a dust-devil twisting along a country road. Near its path, trees sway, corn stalks fold, birds flee....

Our hero bears down on the pedals of his trusty steed, Blackbird. True to proper form, he glides the pedals back and forth a la Nordic skiing, rather than the "bangers and mash" style of stomping on the downstroke. His elbows touch; his arms tucked in tight to the aerobars. With gritty grin, he leans into the upcoming turn, oblivious to the stop-sign bending in the wind.

It is the RecPlex triathlon; the last event of the season. He leads his nemesis, the dreaded Jim G, by several minutes. Even though his arch-rival had a 1 minute headstart, our hero came out of Transition 1 ahead. Jim G was spotted panting heavily at the turn-around of the bike, about 4 miles back.

Suddenly, our hero slows involuntarily. His jaw slackens. Schisse! The white planks of a railroad crossing are folding down, like the arms of some obstinate, foreboding giant. Red lights flash, bells clang. A train! Blackbird glides to a stop with about 4 other dismayed cyclists.

It's bad news: in many triathlons, trains are just a way of life. The judges cannot and will not account for their delay, no matter how unfair. Our hero looks back down the road. No sign of Jim G. Dozens of railcars streak by. 1 minute, 2 minutes... How many cars can be on a single train?

After an eternity, the giant unfolds his arms and a dozen cyclists dart out from the gate like the Kentucky Derby. In no time, they are back up to speed... But at what cost?

Much later... our hero spritely bounces along the park trail. About 1/4 mile to go. All is well: Jim G has not resurfaced, and if only one can press on, then one might break the 2 hour barrier, even with the wretched train delay. Focus!

And finally, with arms extended, our hero reaches the triumphant end of the race, the 2006 rivalry, and the season. Possibly as fit as ever, he crosses the line, with arms extended: 1 hour 59.04 seconds.

It's been a fine year. 9 triathlons. Countless miles. CC 2 Jim G 1. Bring on the pizza.....

ps. Last year, the same event pre-Blackbird (on Butterscotch), the time was 2:22