Thursday, April 17, 2008

Forty

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

-- Freewill, Rush


I don't like writing long, introspective posts.

But I am 1.5 years away from being 40. The number and concept doesn't scare me but it certainly adds poignancy to the ongoing debate about where to live, play, etc.

I mean, if I'm lucky, life is half over. That's sobering. And somewhat liberating. I mean, even if I go on to become addicted to sniffing glue or something, people can say "well he had a good 40 years". As long as I outlive my parents (the fun just doesn't stop in this post), then who cares?

I'm truly torn between some big questions like "shouldn't I be with my family?" versus devil-may-care hedonism such as "why not live in New Zealand for a year? I don't have kids to put through university".

Heavy stuff. Especially now as things are going very well in St Louis. My life on PEI is well-documented, but I have great friends here. Work is going great and I've started to dabble a bit in the teaching/presentation side of work. That is a major draw for me. Like many of my cousins/family, I'm a natural born teacher.

My fear is that I will excel. I'll love it and wake up 10 years from now wondering why I'm still in St Louis.

See the quote at the top. From a Canadian legend, no less. Perfect.

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Every place has it's benefits. There are no right decisions, just many paths.

Binky said...

Before I saw Jennifer's comment, I was going to say something like you need stay away from thinking that there's just one "right" decision... but she says it better.

I guess S. + I are the ones that "didn't get away" move away I mean. Sometimes I wonder what our lives would have been like (but that's not a complaint in any way).

Whatever you do, just do it for some right reasons.