Anonymous Blog?

I'm considering an anonymous blog. I celebrate the mix of people who know about this blog but there are times when I would like to write openly, pensively about some subjects.

My fear is that I would offend someone, or that I would spend way too much time on disclaimers, trying in vain to ensure that I don't offend anyone. (In person, I like witty repartee and am fairly free-wheeling within defined boundaries, but about serious stuff, I am mortified at the thought of offending someone.)

An example topic is nationality and identity. Though it probably seems like I am always writing about that on here, the material only scratches the surface.

Naturally, I as get older, I can see my childhood in a new light, as we all do. I have had insights there as well, but I don't really want to get into all of the details.

Oh dear, I guess I need a diary blog.

I doubt if I will do it but if I do, I won't tell anyone, and I will never confirm nor deny on here. So I guess we'll never know!

CC

Prague's Franz Kafka International rated worst airport

This news piece (from the Onion) is pure genius... I wish I had written it.

Many thanks to JAK! A perfect description of Air Canada but also a wonderful play on Kafka.

Weird and Wonderful

In 2000, at a keynote address in San Jose, a mentor and I saw this man speak: Clifford Stoll.

He is, in some ways, my Platonic ideal as a speaker.

Although the clip below is not the same talk, and not as good, it has many of the same elements. He is theatrical, weird, clever, and immensely warm. I was delighted to stumble upon it tonight.

This guy is phenomenal. I only wish I could find the show from 2000. The ending part about the bell was done perfectly, with the rhythm of a great stage actor. (This one is only ok, but it will have to do.)

Bird Song

During my last summer on PEI, before I went off to grad school, I consciously tried to drink in a lot of PEI and appreciate it.

I remember walking in the woods and hearing one particular bird's song. I thought it was lovely. When I later heard it in Ontario, it really meant a lot to hear the familiar tune. Not being a ornithologist, I had no idea which kind of bird it might be.

And so the years went by... I heard the bird in Missouri as well. Now, I have a tremendous affinity for the tune, but really haven't thought much about it.

This week, I heard a podcast where a guy talks about using a sound feature on his digital camera to capture the song of birds while out watching. He played a sample song.

It was the same one.

Now, this may be pedestrian as far as bird-watching goes, but not for me: my bird is the white-throated sparrow. Click here to read about it and to hear its call. It will no doubt be familiar.

Interestingly, a mnemonic for the song is "Oh sweet, Canada, Canada, Canada". That is heart-warming given my station in life when I first took notice.

CC

ps. Other favourite birds include the barn swallow, which are rampant around my apartment. Naturally, most Canadians love the loon: we heard its call all the time on TV growing up (in nature short-films with a hauntingly familiar and surprisingly creepy flute intro), even if not actually in the wild.

Silly Pics

For those who aren't on Twitter, here are some pics of mine. These are generally from the sillier side of my tech blog.

Some acquaintances of mine are speakers at various geek conferences. This week, they are in Las Vegas and chatting about it on Twitter. So I unleashed "part 2" of a series that I took in December.

There's really no easy explanation for most of those photos but write to me and I can tell the story of some if you are truly curious.

CC

ps. Twitter is pretty neat. I am really coming around to it. Think of it as Facebook Lite: all the updates without that "another application is bugging me for contact info" aftertaste.

Baton Bob in his new habitat

St Louisans will recall the controversial figure known as Baton Bob.

For those away from StL, Baton Bob did his thing along Kingshighway, a major street in the Central West End. Generally heralded as a hero, his last years here were marred by some articles in a local paper where people debated if he was really a kind, quirky showman or an arrogant diva, of sorts. (I have no knowledge or option on the matter... He was fun to watch.)

Thanks to JAK for the heads-up !

Air Canada Transcribed

Some people like details about retail horror so that they can learn. I am not one of these people, but it might help me vent a bit:

• I purchased, online, a flight on Air Canada for late June for $660. An error code came back after submittal.
• AC agent #1 tells me that some credit card companies in the US are charging a "foreign company transaction fee" and that I need to call my card company and agree to a 2% fee.
• The Visa company says this is not true. Call back the airline and tell them "to run it through again".
• AC agent #2 tells me that AC agent #1 is wrong. What happened was that the fare was removed during my transaction. The fare is now $800. I demand that the previous transaction be voided, that I receive the original fare plus $100 off for being on the phone for 30 minutes.
• AC agent #2 tells me I am not a customer at this time. Nothing can be done. I tell agent that I have a frequent-flyer account and have bought many times before: I am indeed a customer. No dice.
• I explain to AC supervisor that AC agents are telling me contradictory things. She agrees with AC agent #1, citing Bank of America. I tell her that BoA is not my credit card company and that my Visa company does not process such a fee. I want to know if I can get the same flight by "running it through again" as instructed. Confusion.
• After several minutes, the AC supervisor offers me the same flight for $660, but cannot speak to which transaction will be used. I explain that I am frustrated that I might be charged twice and that everyone has a different story.
  
• After an hour in total, I pull the switch and tell the AC supervisor:
  

I am not mad at you personally, but I pity you for being involved in an infrastructure that is so amazingly incompetent. I hereby announce my severance from Air Canada and though I am not sure how I am going to get home this summer, I can assure you that it will not be through your airline. I will monitor the open authorization on my credit card and sincerely hope that I need not speak with you again.

A final call to the credit card company revealed that I have an open authorization on my account that cannot be removed or disputed until a charge is actually posted. Most likely, it will not be posted. If it is, I can dispute it.

That is one busy lunch hour (or 90 minutes), let me tell you.

ps. I don't think I could ever do business travel. I hate the logistics of flying more than I can describe.

Air Canada, I have reservations (about your existence)

At Christmas, I vowed not to use Air Canada for trips home in the winter.

After being on the phone for 60+ minutes with 4 different people, and with a charge of $600 on my credit card and no airline reservation, I am now jettisoning Air Canada year-round.

I don't know how I'm coming home this summer, but it is not on AC.

Details and sternly-worded post to follow.

The Saturday Night Downer

It has been a busy week. My client has me working with a small team in France which means I try to be at work for 7:30 am. Then at night, I was cramming for the tech talk on Thursday. Then, one of my beloved Java conferences this weekend. I have been in a conference centre for most of Friday and Saturday.

Today, I was really into the conference and received some kind comments on the tech talk. Some key people have vouched for me as being worthy of speaking at the conference, which has been a goal, of sorts.

I saw great presentations, laughed, made people laugh, dined with geeks, and took sticker photos. Everything was good. I quite liked my place in St Louis.

But here on Saturday night at 10 pm, I'm wondering where the heck I am and what I'm doing. This is not uncommon for Saturday nights. If one were to graph any loneliness during my tenure in the US (or even away from PEI), I'm sure Saturday night would be the most frequent.

Wow. I just wrote for 20 minutes but it became quite introspective and alarmingly "diary"-like. I'm glad I wrote it and it helped me think, but I don't think the world needs to see it.

I'll be fine tomorrow morning, and that's a problem: I'm always fine Sunday morning, because there is a new day to keep me distracted from dealing with the important things in life.

Kablammo

I have this internal threshold when it comes to public speaking and presentations: if it was "very good" (or better) then I experience a euphoria that is unbelievable. If it is anything less, I brood for days if not weeks. I wonder if I'm manic-depressive in that regard?

Tonight, we took one on the chin.

The crowd was super friendly and the style stuff went pretty well. My joke slides worked. But I lost them in example #2 and got rattled in my own head. It wasn't "very good". It wasn't "wretched" either but it doesn't matter.

It wasn't "very good".

I'll spare you the profanity and general piss and vinegar. Schisse. Weeks of study for this one. At least I learned a lot.

CC

ps. For those who have seen my endless prepartion for this, here is a photo of the audience. I didn't take it but was standing near the guy who did.

pps. I used some real-life props which went over well. Apparently this was a creative idea but for some reason that comes natural to my family.

ppps. I've since realized that I left my power supply for my new laptop at the venue, or that it was stolen. Perfect. Perfect.

Big Night Coming Up

Over Christmas, I read a technical paper on a subject I knew nothing about in an unfamiliar computer language. To be honest, I was fairly lost and rather challenged intellectually.

When I returned to StL, I signed up to give a talk on said topic: the ever-esoteric monads. (click here)

Most of my friends have suffered countless monad references and jokes lately. I have really restricted my social life so that I can prepare, much like I did when I was in school (which is unfortunate really).

I'm not afraid of public speaking but the bar is high here in terms of the people attending. Wish me luck!

CC

I Miss Hockey

I have a basic cable package and have little access to hockey. It is painful.

I especially miss Hockey Night in Canada, of course, and the constant abuse from one fan base to another.

As an example, check out this glorious goal from well outside the blue line. The Washington Capitals beat the Bruins in OT, but the best part is the music track, which is "Feeling Satisfied" by the band... wait for it: Boston. Spiteful and perfect.

Pedaling PEI revisited

The photos on Pedaling PEI are taken near my old turf.

I don't know why, but seeing these photos posted on a blog, in a decent size, is truly moving. Some may seem like random snow-covered fields but they are usually on neighbouring farms. Often, these fields had names (e.g. The Rabbit Patch) and were our playground for bicycles, motorbikes, and especially snowmobiles.

I'm pretty sure I know exactly where this one and this one was taken. This one is a no-brainer. It is like seeing family, in a way. Very weird and wonderful. Especially to think that, as a teenager in times of strife, I would look out across the snow, and wonder where I would be someday. I certainly never thought I would be in a good career in the midwest USA, with easy access to photos of PEI.

The thing is: the scene portrayed aren't really much different than when I was a teenager. I can tell that the trees have grown, but the vegetation and the drifting of the snow is exactly the same. They are time capsules.

Number 1 with a Bullet

Here is a time-sensitive link: it is the standings in the tri league. It is somewhat disingenuous as the #2 guy has one less race than I do, and is still on my heels. However, fraud has never stopped me from posting before.

I met the #2 guy last weekend at Wildwood, and I think I spoke to him at the West County Y as well. A cool guy and quite fast... He spins the bike like a hamster on cocaine.

An interesting factoid: at Wildwood in 2008, I did the event in about 57:20. This year, I was within 15 seconds of the same time. That may sound like amazing consistency but this year my bike time was 5 minutes faster and my lazy-ass run was 5 minutes slower. *shrug* Weird.

CC

Triathlon #4

The great fish moved silently through the night water, propelled by short sweeps of its crescent tail. -- Jaws

A great fish, indeed. The dorsal fin of our hero rises to the surface, slicing through the waves, seemingly without resistance. Other, smaller fish scurry and hide for cover. The presence is electric. At the end of a length, a swoosh of the tail and a flip to the other direction.

It is the Wildwood YMCA Indoor Triathlon. Everything is going according to plan. Our hero has temporarily shape-shifted into a tiger shark, as is apropros for the swim leg.

On the next flip, he notices a humanoid form standing above the water. Egad! Is it a hunter? Does he have a speargun? Our hero bears no malice to the other fish: this is a docile competition. However, if it comes to survival against man, then he will have no choice but to engage in attack.

Two lengths of the pool, and again on the flip, he hears, "*blurb* Michael *blurb*". Zounds! The miscreant has identified our hero and, worse, refuses to use his pseudonym. Surely he is being hunted. Violence seems inevitable.

This is war that the great fish did not choose, but will win.

Finally, at the end of the swim, our hero morphs from the tiger shark back into original form. Breathing heavily through new-found lungs, he slips from the pool. Quickly, he whirls to face his attacker.

Before him stands the inimitable Jim G, dressed in street clothes. JimG claps his hands together and says "C'mon Michael... let's go buddy! I don't have all day".

CC

ps. JimG lives in Wildwood and came out to watch my tri. After realizing a battle was not at hand, it was good to see him. He heckled me on all three legs of the event, but was kind enough to bring me towels and water.

Worthwhile Canadian Initiative

Fareed Zakaria is a cool dude. He writes for Newsweek and is editor of the magazine's world edition; being from India, has a credible voice on the world scene. He is one face in an increasingly cosmopolitan America.

Here is a piece of his on Canada and the "common sense" of its banking system.

Some thoughts:

(a) Until the recent upheaval, the primary story about Canada's finance system was that Canada began balancing the budget in the mid 1990s and truly righted the ship (though the budget cuts were not without controversy).

(b) I'm not posting this as a "Go Canada!" thing. I think thoughtful readers from either the US or Canada might gain from seeing this rare perspective.

(c) I find the part about immigration, near the end, to be the most interesting. The immigration policies of the US are definitely not in its best interests. This is repeated by many thoughtful commentators throughout the political spectrum (this inherently excludes Lou Dobbs).

(d) The Canadian media portrays the economic conditions in the same dire terms as the media in the US. Perhaps we don't have a banking crisis but the other ills (housing, jobs) are a clear and present danger.

Pickles, Ice Cream, and Cupcakes

For out-of-towners, there is both major news and some fun pics over at the Cupcake Project. Check it out.... Demi Moore didn't have pastries in her iconic photo shoot!

More Diamond Dave

I don't know when this turned into the "David Lee Roth Parody Reference" but this site is too good not to mention: check it out here.

I have some good ideas and some modest success with web stunts but some people simply blow me away. Very nice.

JimO

I had dinner with other night with JimO. Some may remember him from a former workplace.

Note that this is not JimG, my arch-rival! JimO is considerably older; I often refer to him as the "barkeeper who listens to your troubles".

Well, sort of. He also has a gruff exterior much like Clint Eastwood. When I saw the trailer for the new movie, Gran Torino, I thought of JimO (though minus the ugly racism, thankfully). A single man who lives alone, his only cares (on the surface) are: food, money, and to be left alone. I have told him repeatedly that he should sue the writers of Shrek on the basis of prior art.

Strangely, he is also one of my closest friends. This is weird to write as I only see him once every 4-6 months, but he is a true confidant and is one of the few people whose insight into my psyche is staggering. I think most of the people in our lives make comments and observations that are often spot-on (and God bless them); but, it is rare and downright eerie to know people who are almost always right.

Anyway, he is doing well. He still works for said employer. He could retire any time but he enjoys the work and figures he might as well stay busy. As for our convo, all I can say is that he asked one or two questions about my long term plans that, as always, made me hide my face while he cackled and said I would never change.

Today

Q: How many people must be in a room for there to be a > 50% chance they were born on the same day, tested and vilified, and ultimately lionized and celebrated 200 years later?

A: Two, if the people are Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln. Happy 200th, lads!